


Empathy

by tacticalbuttcheeks



Category: Mass Effect: Andromeda
Genre: Dick Ryder, Enemies to Friends, Past Drug Use, Talking Out Your Problems, and by dick ryder i mean ryder's a dick
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-03
Updated: 2017-05-03
Packaged: 2018-10-27 03:51:29
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 788
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10801119
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tacticalbuttcheeks/pseuds/tacticalbuttcheeks
Summary: When playing as my asshole Ryder, I realized just how hard it is in ME:A to actually play as well.. an asshole. I just wanted to write something small exploring her personality more accurately.In which family disappointment Gidget Ryder talks out her feelings about her family to Jaal following her decision to side with the Moshae and destroy the kett facility.





	Empathy

Gidget Ryder couldn’t fault people for not liking her. Hell, ninety-nine percent of the time she didn’t like herself. She was a fundamentally unlikeable person: irritable, cold, abrasive, quick to anger and so conservative with her smiles that Liam liked to refer to them as ‘a cryptid more illusive than sasquatch’. In all honesty, Ryder was more surprised when people liked her.

Which is why she hadn’t been surprised when, upon entering Jaal’s little corner of the Tempest following the liberation of the Moshae, she was met with a cold shoulder.

“Silent treatment, eh? Whatever, I’m not going to beg.” She knew he’d be mad after she opted to destroy the base but she wasn’t going to justify her decisions on her own ship and it was no secret that the pair didn’t get along anyway. So with no further ado, Ryder turned on her heels and began on her merry way.

“Wait-”

Ryder halted, her body going rigid. Apathy she could take, anger too, but Jaal’s tone spoke of vulnerability and that was a whole other can of worms. _I need a drink._

She closed her eyes and slowly turned around. “ _Yeees_?”

He rose slowly, “you saved the Moshae. I won’t forget that.”

Ryder narrowed her eyes, waiting for the inevitable ‘but’. It didn’t come, which only served to make her even more uncomfortable. What was his angle? “That _was_ the mission.”

“Saving her was a great thing, it will be anyway.” Yes, she was aware, and not sure what he was getting at. “I really miss my family at times like these.”

She gritted her teeth to keep from cringing. He was opening up? To her? What was Ryder supposed to say to that- Good for you? Interesting? Good talk, I’ll be going now?

“Are you close to your family?”

This time Ryder physically cringed, squeezing her eyes tight and letting out a sigh before sitting herself down on a crate. “No. Not in the least bit.”

That didn’t seem to be the answer he’d expected and she swore she heard a quiet gasp escape him. “How could you not be close to your family? Family is… everything to the angara.”

Her lip curled a bit in a pained expression that spoke of her discomfort. “Honestly?”

“Honestly.”

By the way Jaal sat down on a crate across from her and leaned forward to listen, Gidget could tell that he actually was interested, and she was astonished and a bit unnerved by just how much she actually wanted to share it with him. It was rare that she spoke of herself and her past to anyone, yet she felt compelled to with this person that, mere hours ago, she’d felt nothing but disdain for.

Her shoulders slumped, “fine but if any of this gets out I will personally skin you alive and make you into a nice pair of boots.” He grunted in what could only be mild concern.

“I will not betray you confidence, Pathfinder.”

“Ryder.” She asserted, “I hate that damn title.”

“Understood Ryder. Now, tell me about your family.”

And so she explained. She explained how she was always the black sheep of the family. A moral deviant who dropped out of school, got into drugs and arson and a little bit of everything else. How her brother jumped at every opportunity to assert that he was the good child and that nothing she did was ever good enough for her father so eventually she stopped trying. She told him about how she’d been a chronic runaway in her early teens and spent more nights on park benches or in drug dens than in her own bed. Everything up to and including her mother’s illness and her brother’s subsequent guilt trip that led Gidget to go through rehabilitation and get into the military so Ellen, the only person who ever believed there was someone worth something in Ryder wouldn’t die thinking she’d failed her.

By the time she’d finished venting, Ryder was looking at her boots with her head in her hands. The silence was slowly becoming suffocating and she was just about to stand and leave when Jaal took a deep breath and she felt his large hand rest on her shoulder. She tensed at the contact and shrugged him off. “I don’t want your pity.”

“Empathy, not pity.” He said with saintlike patience.

Ryder shook her head and stood, “no difference, don’t need it and don’t want it.” She walked to the door but when it slid open she paused, clenching and unclenching her fist to steel herself. “Er- thanks. For letting me vent.”

As it closed behind her, she heard his reply muffled by the loud woosh of the door: “Anytime.”


End file.
